The Good
We all have good habits- the kind that keep us organized and get us to work on time well-fed and prepared to handle our jobs responsibly. Good habits are a good thing. They’re automatic and, for the most part, unconscious. They conserve energy to use for more important endeavors. We create habitual behaviors in order to not waste time thinking about how and when to do them. Smart.
The Bad
What about those other habits- the bad ones? We eat the extra cookies or the bag of chips. We find five other things to do instead of exercise. We procrastinate and arrive late at meetings. We’ve developed these behaviors for slightly different reasons- they’re impulse-driven and satisfy a felt need.. The cookies are THERE, after-all, and they’re my favorite. I really need the extra hour of sleep instead of getting up and out for a run. We learned to justify or rationalize these behaviors in childhood, because at those moments we needed to feel good. Something was missing- a sense of worth, of security, of being loveable- and giving ourselves extra food, more sleep, special time, satisfied the need.
The Ugly
The price we pay for our “bad habits” a short time later is feeling really bad, guilty, and ashamed. The truly ugly habits, the ones that cross the line into addictions like compulsive spending, gambling, alcohol and drug abuse; over-eating can cost us our health and financial security, and also our jobs, family and friends. These habits can truly destroy our self-esteem
Blame Your Brain
The good news is in about habits: We are not defective humans. In The Power of Habit, we learn that the brain creates a “habit loop.” First there’s a Cue, a desire for something, then a Routine develops where we achieve the object of our desire, and finally there’s a Reward. Interestingly, the reward is not the thing itself, the reward is in feeling better, richer, calmer- for a short time. Soon the brain begins to Crave the routine, with its specific reward. It’s the Craving that drives our habits. We Crave that feeling of well-being and we can blame a tiny ancient structure at the base of the brain- the basal ganglia- for our craving.
Train Your Brain
The really good news is that knowing about the “habit loop” means we can change our habits. 1. Choose a Cue– your exercise clothes are laid-out and running shoes are by the door; your salad and celery are ready to grab from the frig as you leave for work 2. Choose a Reward to anticipate –High Five yourself in the mirror, toast yourself with tea at dinner; find a way to really celebrate yourself 3. Practice the new routine consistently for one month and you’ve changed your behavior and changed your brain. Your brain, now Craves the routine so that it can achieve the good feelings associated with your new healthy habit.
*Take a mental inventory and choose a habit you’d like to “clean-up” this Spring. Follow the three steps above and be sure to celebrate your new routine. Feel good about craving the “feel good” results.
*Open the windows of your mind- let the breeze blow in fresh thoughts, exciting ideas, new possibilities. Create many different rewards for cleaning-up your habits.
If you’d like support during your “Spring Cleaning,” call me to learn about my therapy and coaching services.
Many Blessings, Gail